“I lie awake each night thinking of you and reflecting on how you help me like a father. I sing through the night under your splendor-shadow, offering up to you my songs of delight and joy!”
Psalm 63:6-7 TPT
I had a moment last week that helped me understand exactly what David must have been experiencing here. One of my favorite things is when God uses people in our lives to reveal parts of His heart, and you know this is happening because you hear that little whisper from Him saying, “This is who I am.”
In the interest of extreme vulnerability, this has been a difficult season for me financially. I have recently transitioned jobs, and the waiting period for a paycheck has taken a toll on my bank account. Nevertheless, bills still have to be paid, groceries still need to be bought, and cars apparently still need gas. I have found myself in prayer on more than one occasion saying, “Ok God, it has to be You. There’s no way this works without You this time.” I’ll confess that I’ve never quite been at this point before. Every time I’ve found myself in a financial bind, there’s always been a way for me to work more or move money around to cover the gaps, but recently, that just hasn’t been the case.
The crazy thing about complete dependence is that you get to see God move in really miraculous ways. He has blessed me with generous gifts and incredibly kind people that have helped me make it work through this in between time, and each time, I’ve been floored and brought to tears by who He is, what He does, and the people He created. One of these people is my dad.
It’s really special for me to see the reflection of the father heart of God in my own dad, and I experienced this to the greatest degree last week. Without another option in plain view, I reached out to my dad, albeit reluctantly, to ask for money to help with groceries and gas for the week. As a newly financially independent 20-something, this was truly not a conversation I had hoped to have or was looking forward to. My dad’s response was simple:
“I take great pleasure in helping my baby girl.”
I could bask in the love overflowing from that statement for the rest of my days. It was like it came straight from the heart of my Heavenly Father.
Something I was dreading, something that made me feel so inadequate, was a delight for my father to be invited into. I believe Scripture tells us it is the same way with God. He continually tells us to surrender our cares to Him and trust Him to meet all of our needs. He does this because He wants to be invited in to our struggle as one who knows us and loves us. He doesn’t want us to keep Him at arm’s length when we are in need. He doesn’t want us to try to figure it out on our own.
God helps us like a father. We have refuge under His wing, and all of our needs are met there. In that place, the only response is praise and thanksgiving. This is what David was describing in the Psalm.
No matter where you find yourself today, it is my prayer that you would invite God into even the places where you feel inadequate, insufficient, or like you’ve failed. Know that it is His pleasure to father you, to provide for you, and to love you.
Father, I invite You into all the circumstances of my life. There is no better place to be than in Your care, so I lean into that, surrendering my effort and the things I can’t control. Only You can move the mountains before me, and I trust You to be who You are. Amen.
Author | Kalli Drake