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Trading My Plans For Peace

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As quick and easy movies and Youtube videos make transitions look, they are not. They take time, patience, and a lot of trial and error. My current transition from college senior to adulthood has been similar. I’ve turned eighteen. I’ve turned twenty-one. I have even traveled out of the country by myself for six months. All of these were small transitions to becoming more independent. Now that I am a college senior, independence does not seem thrilling. In fact, it’s the opposite. The freedom that is viewed as attractive to society has become horrifying to me. I enjoy having a set structure. When things do not go according to my set plan, I get anxious. Currently, I am anxious about making a decision between attending graduate school or simply finding a job in my field. This decision has not been an easy one to make because it means there are two different roads I am going on. I can either continue my education or begin adulthood early. I thought it would be an easy decision to make. I could apply for graduate schools and be stress-free. I could even take time to do things for myself and work on my personal writing. I am just now finishing my first semester and it has not been easy at all. I have had to make decisions about graduate schools and really thinking about my future before I have my Bachelor’s degree. This is nowhere near what I expected.

But maybe that’s the problem, I expected it to be different. I expected applications to be easy. I expected my extracurriculars to be manageable and stress-free. Overall, I expected things to be easy and I expected them to be easy without God. I was doing things without praying to God and seeking his wisdom and expecting Him to give me the answer I wanted. But I am learning that my own frustration in this season of life is coming from the fact that I have not allowed God to guide me through this transition. I wanted to guide myself because I like having structure. This transition has been eye-opening to me. This has not only been a professional transition but a transition in my relationship with God. I can no longer walk before God and call Him only when I feel like I need Him. I have to walk with God. I have to allow his expectations for me to shine through. Most importantly, I have to enjoy this period. 

Yes it’s been stressful and it has really stretched me spiritually, but transitions are a good thing. I do not have to be stressed because I am not alone. God is with me and He is only doing things that are for my good. He places us through transitions to reveal things about ourselves and about our situation. I don’t have to keep seeing my situation as something negative. I don’t have to keep placing myself in a constant mode of stress. Transitions require some sort of edit or change. For me, this edit has been removing myself and my plans in exchange for God’s. I have to allow Him to move me and rely on Him to do what I have been called to do. 

Thriving through transition has been me taking back my peace. Even though it’s not easy, I am slowly taking back my peace. My growth has come through letting my own plans go. Even when I cannot see the end result of graduation yet or adulthood, I know that God is with me and that I can succeed. This is what encourages me to keep going. I could have easily given up at any point in this semester. I could have even quit my obligations and stayed stuck in my stress and sadness. But, I kept going. I told myself that God has something more for me, which He does. When I finally allowed myself to trust God, I was so much happier! At the beginning of the semester, I was thriving and doing good in my classes, but I was not happy. My growth has been learning to be okay with my current state no matter how I feel. I can be happy even in uncertainty. I know that my transition is not over. Even when I graduate, I will still be going forth into what God is calling me to do. But I do not have to dread my transition. Even if I am uncertain of what is happening, God knows. When I follow God, my transition can be seamless even when it feels or appears to be the opposite.


Author | Faith Rush

Faith Rush, a native of Virginia Beach, Virginia, left home to attend Winthrop University in Rock Hill, South Carolina in hopes to connect with extended family. She is a senior English major with a minor in African American Studies. When she is not focused on her studies, she enjoys writing, cooking, and finding new shows to watch on Hulu.

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