I have been in a season of change. A season of stretching. A season of desperation and disappointment. I’m learning we’re actually always growing, adapting, or changing. But, is it by our own merit or strength? For our own benefit or glory? Or is it for and by the Lord’s mercy that we’re moving, breathing, and being equipped for the time and season we’ve been placed in the kingdom of God?
I have no doubt I was born for this season of life and time. The Lord has been gracious to me and has revealed this so plainly. He is so intentional in all his workmanship, and leaves nothing to chance, and nothing is too far out of his reach or even outside of his hand. He’s intricately woven Himself into my life, and by his grace and mercy, I have found refuge in Him.
To truly keep Jesus at the center of my life and being will always mean having to choose to surrender again and again. Learning to deny myself, and pick up my cross on a daily basis. I was singing to the Lord the other day, just a simple spontaneous prayer of my heart. I asked Him to,
“Take me up higher, than my earthly desires,
I always end up empty handed,
when I don’t drink from your well.
So pour out your living water,
let me drink from your hand, again.”
I need to remember when my heart is looking for comfort, fulfillment, and feels lost in the moment, that I first run to Jesus, and his well. Nothing else truly fills and satisfies the heart, or the void that each of us have for true intimacy with our creator.
My prayer is that Jesus is continuously revealing what’s in my heart. Although He is always gentle and kind to me, this is not an easy prayer to live out because this means I should always be subject to challenge and change, when the Lord prompts or reveals something out of place. Therefore, pride, entitlement, or offense has to lock eyes with King Jesus, and has to bow. Because I know my eye must be single, and focused in on the person and presence of Jesus; I know in turn, I will be filled with light, and darkness is abolished when Jesus is invited into those places. And again, surrender can take place.
The greatest lesson I am learning right now is how to invite him into pain, and disappointment, and being “OK” with the unknown. And even feeling, “OK” to ask him, “Why am I feeling this way?” I feel I have been over this lesson before. But, I have also always wanted to be strong enough to handle these hardships on my own, or at least, for it to be perceived that way. Most of my battles begin and end in the mind, and I would suggest that’s where the majority of attacks take place over the course of our lives. From the mind, it will be determined if the fiery darts from the enemy get to take root in one’s life.
If I’m not taking captive the thoughts, I accept what lies are being thrown as, “truth”, and I will easily be derailed, deterred, and deceived into a false perception of truth. Instead, I can choose to take captive each thought, and hold it subject to Christ. And let his blood speak a better word over my life. I love that Jesus is at the right hand of the Father, actively speaking and pleading his blood over my life. He’s such a humble King, and has the purest heart of a servant. His whole existence shows the most beautiful example of love and humility for all of us to see and experience.
I know Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life, so holding onto Him, and keeping Him at the center will always be the answer. And, of course I’ve heard the saying, “Take your eyes off of the problem, and place them on the problem solver.” (Jesus) I feel like that’s good advice, but it doesn’t excuse you from still being in the middle of chaos at times, and even (long) seasons of chaotic life. One where you’re just trying to survive, quite literally, and much work is involved. It’s not just, “OK, Jesus, You take this . . . ” and I get to walk away and rest. No, I actively have to work and adapt to make sure I/we(my Fam) keep my/our heads above water at times. It’s very tiring.
But, Jesus is with me in the chaos. He’s training and equipping me for his purposes. He’s right there with me in the mess, and in the disappointment and pain. I need to always remember to invite Him on this journey, the one that He’s actually asking if He can lead me on, if I choose to follow Him.
I have to remember my life isn’t about me, but I do believe He works everything together for our good, and for his glory. I know that we’re tried by fire, and on the other end, we come out pure. That’s my prayer. That my pain and trials aren’t wasted. That God will develop a character of grace, love, and tenderness in my heart, that will end up helping lead others to him. I pray He gets the glory of my life. In the kingdom, nothing is wasted. God is restorative, mighty to save, and delights in showing mercy any time someone calls on his name. So Jesus, I’m calling on your name again.
I’ve been praying that I am granted the perception of my heavenly Father. Because we truly do live by our perceptions. I believe the deeper level of revelation we’re given, the greater responsibility we have to respond. And whether we realize this or not, we are responding.
God, let my life be a response of praise, and adoration to you. Let my life’s song be pleasing to you, and thank you for always being patient and gentle with my heart. You have proven yourself trustworthy to me over and over again. You’re my gracious Father and my purest friend. Never leaving any stone unturned, you reveal the deepest parts of my soul. May I be washed in the blood and water again, and may you find favor in me, by your loving kindness I am alive. I have purpose, destiny, and the identity of Christ. I’m tethered to eternity. An eternity of beauty and grace, with my Father, face to face. All because of you Jesus, I have this promise. Be pleased with my life, and thank you for never giving up on me. You’re my constant one, and the love of my life. Jesus forever be at the center.
Joy is a wife of 17 years to Marcus, a homeschooling mom of three beautiful children, Abbi, Sam, & Nathan and a songwriter and worshiper of King Jesus. She loves spending time with her family and enjoying the simple things in life. She has a heart to see people fall in love with Jesus, and walk in wholeness and freedom. Joy loves to lead worship and minister with her husband, and has a desire to see true, authentic, Christ centered worship arise within the body of Christ. Her prayer is that she shines the love and light of Jesus to those around her, and that people would encounter Jesus through her life’s song.